Name changed on request
For me finding the teachings of The Gnostic Movement was by no means an easy process. I was searching for a very long time, through a myriad of disinformation, before I stumbled across them.
I recall strong spiritual yearnings from a very early age. For one who is truly seeking the real path, circumstances of life conspire to push you in the right direction. In my case this meant a number of experiences and events around the religion of birth that prevented it from satiating my spiritual yearnings.
Moving out of childhood I became consumed by the world around me. There was something within nagging me to seek more, yet I repressed those yearnings and embraced a material life with abandon. In so doing, for all intents and purposes, I achieved complete success. I was an upwardly mobile professional, accumulating wealth and aspirational to many of my peers. However, within there was something lacking, internally I lived in poverty.
Despite external success, my internal states were a complex myriad of contradictions and negativity. To counter them, I would indulge in a variety of pleasures, which worked for a brief time, but soon the negative states would reassert itself. This pendulum continued for a long time, each time to overcome the negative I would amp up the pleasure only to see the negative come back stronger. It seemed like an endless cycle which I felt couldn’t go on, so my search began.
It wasn’t easy, I started with conventional psychology which I found lacked depth. Then I examined several eastern religious philosophies and a number of new age schools, again without success. It was a long and arduous search leading me to a succession of dead ends. Seeking life, I found emptiness, neither the schools nor their practitioners could satiate my yearnings.
Still I didn’t give up. When I came across a poster for a free astral course offered by The Gnostic Movement I thought it worthwhile trying. Interestingly, a number of obstacles arose in my life to prevent my attendance, but I was resolute, put them aside and attended. I was not alone, there were close to 200 people at the public hall at that first lecture and the atmosphere was electric.
When the lecturer commenced his introductory talk I was in awe. He explained complex concepts with total clarity and was unfazed by a barrage of questions from the audience. At the end of the night I was abuzz. So much ground had been covered in such a simple yet comprehensive way, everything I heard just felt right. I felt like I had found something of great value, after so many blind alleys I may have stumbled across the truth. I recall counting down the days to the following week’s talk.
Each week’s talk was more astounding than the last, and what was really surprising for me, was each week, the number of people attending dwindled. They decreased so rapidly that by week four there were only a dozen of us left. At this stage the venue switched from the large hall to The Gnostic Movement’s study centre.
The lectures were very practical; apart from the theory, each week we would be given a different practice to try as homework. All of the techniques taught aimed to enable us, the students, to achieve our own conscious astral experiences. Whilst I didn’t astral project during the course, towards the end I did have a conscious astral experience. During a dream, utilising a trigger we were taught, I tested if I was in the astral and to my surprise I was. I was astounded. Finally I had found a teaching that was verifiable, I didn’t have to just believe what I was told, I could prove it for myself. But once again circumstances of life intervened. This time I was forced to take a break from the courses that endured for several months. It was like I was being tested. When I returned it was to the surprise of my teachers and fellow students.
Several courses followed. The knowledge built, providing a comprehensive and deep overview of how our psychology works as well as several esoteric and occult topics. Each week’s theoretical content was accompanied with practical exercises which enabled one to explore, to a certain depth, the material covered. I absorbed all this information and the practices eagerly.
There were a number of teachers I met throughout the courses, all of whom were very genuine people.
I am an extremely inquisitive individual, I recall on numerous occasions sitting in the gnostic café with one of my teachers and over the course of several hours bombarding them with intricate philosophical questions on the gnostic doctrine. Never once was I brushed off, instead they patiently and carefully answered each of my questions even though at times it was heading towards midnight.
In this way I traversed the courses and gained knowledge. At the end of the first year I attended a retreat with fellow teachers and students from around the country. It was a magical event. Everyone who attended was so friendly, genuine and open to learning. There was a real spirit of comradery, we all wanted to gain knowledge and esoteric experiences out of the body for ourselves, but also for everyone else. It was very different to what you experience in the normal world. Though I do have one confession. I was a little disappointed that Belzebuub did not attend in person. I was so eager to meet the man who had opened my mind and heart to so much.
In the following year I did have an opportunity to meet with Belzebuub. I was away on a business trip, and I hired a car and visited him for the evening. What struck me on our first meeting was how humble, genuine and generous he was. I only had one evening in town and we talked well past midnight and into the early hours of the morning. He answered every one of my questions with such a profound depth of knowledge and care, never once complaining about the time.
The Gnostic Movement was such a wonderful institution, led by such a profoundly knowledgeable and advanced teacher. Its passing prompts one to reflect. Looking back, there are two aspects that really stand out for me, the people and the teachings.
Everyone involved was just so genuine and nice. Everyone – members, teachers, trainees and students were keen to share, learn and improve. Sure, nobody was perfect, but almost everyone was striving for perfection. So, when issues arose, you were able to have honest and sincere discussions aimed at resolution. And these resolutions were not just external, they were internal as well. Applying the teachings, each of us would be trying to eliminate from within the root cause of the issues, the inner states that drove the negative interactions. In my opinion, nowhere in the world was there such a profound school, or such a genuine group of people trying to change.
This in itself was incredible, but even more incredible were the teachings themselves. Applying them to life brought about major changes within me. Apart from the fact that life now had meaning, I now understood its greater purpose, and the way I approached life changed profoundly as well.
Understanding that negative states bring about negative actions and thus negative circumstances in life, and having the tools to overcome and eliminate them and applying those tools, my life changed totally in a very positive way. I understood myself better, acted more consciously and became a better person.
Yet that school, The Gnostic Movement is no more. These reflections lead to feelings of sadness and loss. For there was a brief time on this earth, when a really profound and sacred spiritual school existed. It’s not just for myself that I feel sadness and loss, it is for the whole of humanity.
When else in history was there such a school, led by such an advanced spiritual teacher, who presented the sacred teachings so clearly. Teachings which were truly profound and available to all at zero cost.
Anybody, via a computer could access them. They could attend one of the courses and join a community of like-minded individuals striving for awakening. Regardless of the country they lived in, political regime they were under or religious influences around them, they could access these teachings. Truly I must say, the closure of The Gnostic Movement was a dark day for all of humanity.
There is no value that could be placed on The Gnostic Movement or the teachings of its spiritual leader Belzebuub, its value is simply immeasurable.