I came across The Gnostic Movement (TGM) through an Internet search for astral travel. I was about 19 and had felt the urge to discover what was going on ‘behind the veil’ of life for a few years; this had brought me in contact with various different schools of philosophical thought and spiritually-intentioned practice. I had tried yoga, Buddhist meditation, chanted along with the Hare Krishnas, been in contact with pagan groups and joined ‘spiritual healing’ courses. But nothing had quenched my appetite. When I heard about astral travel I was amazed and immediately set about trying to find people to teach me. It felt like a huge leap into the direction I had decided I needed to base my spiritual search: to have my own metaphysical experiences rather than depending on archaic teachings, religions, or new age schools, which very often seemed too obscure or limited in their scope. From my first contact with TGM I had a sense it was something different and special. The clarity, integrity and scope of the teachings set it apart.
It took me a long time to struggle free from the destructive forces that were at play in my early twenties to fully participate in the Gnostic school. I signed up to the courses online but it took me a few tries to complete them, getting ‘lost’ half way, but always feeling my conscience nagging me to go back and to go further. It was the very techniques I was learning in TGM that helped me overcome these destructive forces. Eventually I moved to be close to the first in-person study group that had opened in the UK. I started to attend weekly classes in a library. I was full of anticipation meeting other Gnostic students and teachers for the first time. The teachers left a good impression on me, but in general the group was in the first stages of setting up. I heard stories about the centres in Australia and how lively and full of activity they were – I felt like I had to go there to take the next step in my inner work.
By the time I had got to Australia I had completed the Gnostic Wisdom course, which really explained the crux of the Gnostic work and what it entails from a person to make happen. It became clearer to me that this school had something unique. The teachings felt alive, powerful and yet gentle (as in they were never forced upon me and I never felt I needed to believe or obey anything). That the Movement didn’t charge for any of its teachings inherently felt right to me – I had been quite sickened by the way spirituality is often merged with commerce. The emphasis on personal esoteric experience and internal understanding over blind dogma and devotion also rung a chord with me.
In the centres and retreats I attended in Australia I met a whole community of people I felt a huge affinity with and who were tangible examples of the way the inner Gnostic work can shape people into better human beings. The goodwill between everyone was apparent. The energies and atmospheres created from group meditations and the combined effect of many individuals striving for spiritual change were something new for me – I had never felt this in a group of people before, and had always longed for this interaction based on higher things. The practices I was taught helped me get in contact with new spiritual feelings and realities. I felt like what was asked of me to progress in the organisation was exactly what I genuinely wanted to cultivate within myself – honesty, love, generosity, compassion and a strong will to put towards helping humanity. All this combined to help me know for certain I had found a group I wholeheartedly trusted with my spiritual education and to shape my life. I am still incredibly grateful I found it and can’t imagine the sense of lack I would feel without it.
When I returned to the UK I joined the (now much more active) centre in London and when that closed down to relocate to Edinburgh, I relocated with it. During this time I started to learn more about the inner workings of the Movement and had reached the point of wanting to train to become a teacher. I started to become more involved with the running of the Edinburgh centre, helping to organise activities, willingly donating funds and giving more of my time to help spread the teachings. All of this came from my own impetus. My understanding of Mark/Belzebuub as a spiritual teacher also developed quietly, gradually and naturally. As I read more of his work, heard him speak and listened to other people’s accounts of him and mostly, grew in appreciation for what the Gnostic Movement was, I naturally became more and more inquisitive about the head of the organisation. His guidance was always a massive source of inspiration and strength for myself and everyone who understood the worth of his teachings. The more I looked and inquired, the more I realised that the Gnostic Movement was a vehicle for a very divine teaching, and teacher.
It was just as I was beginning to imagine that I could reach the level needed to become a trainee and teacher that the Movement closed. I understand better now why that happened. I am regretful I didn’t make more out of the time it was around.
My experience with The Gnostic Movement was nothing short of life changing and immensely positive. It was a unique time in my life, which provided me with a very nourishing and nurturing environment to explore spirituality. Though it has gone, the teachings of Belzebuub continue to flourish and continue to guide and inspire – this was always the core of the Gnostic Movement.
Ella K